Come anticipato, ecco a voi il racconto del (auto)soccorso del Reverendo e di Nini.
Vorrei fare un ringraziamento a Lollo (Many thanks Lollo) perchè il testo che state per leggere è stato scritto di suo pugno! Non voglio dilungarmi troppo, leggendo capirete tutto! Buona lettura!
Hi muloni
I'm Lollo from Borgo and writing about the
big monadathat Nini
and the Reverendo did on the Spiz di Mezzo some weeks ago. Maybe you are
expecting them to write something about this topic but they are very busy: Nini
is always in trasferta for the lavor and the Reverendo is very incasinated with the piastrelle(tiles ndr) of his condotto. So they conted me all the story and asked to
take care of this post.
These two mulonidecided to do a classica in montagna, more
correctly on the Spiz di Mezzo, but they are very polluted and started to climb
very late, more or less at ora de pranzo(at
lunch time ndr). At the very beginning everything was going fine and the
ascent was fast but soon they realized that the route was a real marzon( crumbling rock ndr). So they slew
down... After a few pitches in the full marzo they started to make a big casin because they lost a Friend somewhere, the couldn't remove
some ciodi(Pitons ndr) from the
belays, the Reverendo had to do his usual stronzade, Nini lost himself looking for a belay and the solita
storia(usual history ndr)...
So they arrived on
the big cengia below the peak more or less at the tramonto when it was quickly getting scuro. As you already know,
Topogigio teached us "quando in montagna te ciapi notte, non vien miga el
camerier con el champagne e le putane ma riva el freddo"(When in mountain you bring night, doesn’t arrive
waiter with Champagne and whores but arrive the cold“ ndr) . So
they were on this big cengia without sprizzetti and vaccas(pussys ndr); for this
reason they decided to start the descent (probably because there were no vaccas
up there and wanted to see some pussies in Zoldo's baretti of tendenza ).
In the relazion of
discesa it was
written that they had to climb down an easy canalino(couloir ndr) on the west parede. They saw a canalino and
decided to descent it. Obviously it was completely marzo and finished in the
middle of a vertical big paredon;
so they got very cagadi(scared/shitted ndr)
and decided to turn back and look for an another canalino. Finally they climbed
down all the canalini of the west parede's and it was always the same story:
impossible to proceed. Probably the relazion of discesa was wrong or full of
monade. So they turned
back on the big cengia for the last time. It was 22.30 and Nini realized that
he didn't has called his morosa Letizia who probably was getting very preoccupada. So he
took the phone and called her, telling that he was still on the top stuck
somewhere on a big cengia, that he was going to sleep in a nicchia(hole ndr) in the middle of sfasciumi(crumbling rocks), there were no vaccas,
he didn't know how to get down and various stronzade. Obviously Letizia got very sclerada and started to scream like an ossesso( possessed person ndr!).
After
the phone call, Nini and Reverendo realized that they did a big stronzada: now
Letizia was getting very in panico and could call the Soccorso Alpino(Alpin
Rescue ndr)! They were very ciavadi(fucked
ndr) because the soccorso is a disonor! They needed somebody faster and more efficient than Soccorso Alpino:
the Ghey-Rescue Team!
So
Nini called the Rom Boss who was completely imbriago at the ospo's baretto(Ospo’s Bar of the camping, typical meeting-place for the triestins
climbers after their climbing days!! Ndr) and asked him for the right
relazion of discesa. After a big valanga of stronzades and frasi sconnesse the Rom Boss realized the situation and
looked for the relazion. Once found it, he read it to Nini (as obvious it was written to go completely
in an another direction: the descent was on the south parede).
Then
the two muloni started quickly to go in the right direction and were very happy
because they wanted to go in Zoldo and do the fighi(attractive guys ndr) in zona aperitivi. Considering also that Nini
has a macchina decapottabile with a very tiro of bobazza.
After a while they
started to do many doppie in the dark till they finished in Mignottauro's Labyrinth. It was a real casin
because there were ometti and tracce of
sentiero almost everywhere
and it was impossible to find the right direction. They had to climb and walk a
lot for finding the right way in the labyrinth. It was terribly never-ending!
Nini was very provado and stressado by the Mignottauro and couldn't even climb down
without the help of his compagno. On the other side the Reverendo started to think that they were died
and damned to do an ethernal descent in the night. In the end they had a big
botta of culo and found the way out to the Mignottauro's labyrinth. They reached the bivacco Carnielli at 1.30 a.m. and
did some casin because they were happy to be still alive. As you can immagine the building was full of
climbers who got incazzadi for the casin in the middle of the night and started to make pupoli. Probably they were
from the quadrilatero of Melara(a
Triestin’s district from which come worst bad guys of Triest ndr) and it was a bad idea to have longhiwith them. Nini
and Reverendo had to run away before the situation got too hot. Finally they
arrived at the parking at 3.30 a.m.and did a rebechin(a snack ndr) but were too tired to go in Zoldo's baretti and make
some cerci with the
Nini's macchina decapottabile.
This is the story so
far.
P.S.: Dear Letizia, the next time you got very preoccupada because of Nini's stronzades, you should call me and we arrange a nice seratina because I'm incredibly figo and a real bobazza. I'll surely calm you in the best way. Consider that I have a harley motorbike that has got a lot of tiro.
